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| Self-Sabotage 1

Unfortunately, self-sabotage and its foundation of self-doubt and associated insecurity, seems to be a common disposition for many people who experience some form of negative interaction, particularly in childhood through their family, schooling, peer interactions, or religion. Those who suffer from it, often grow up believing that because they are not perfect, talented, attractive, brainy, cool or popular, they cannot live up to the ideals of others or of society, and therefore they cannot succeed. They judge themselves not good enough, or that their abilities are inadequate in particular areas, and therefore they may spend their lives in varying states of shyness, lacking confidence, subtly hiding, or not so subtly hiding from others, because they fear their failings might be exposed. Consequently there can be a tendency to disrupt their own state of physical, mental or spiritual flow, rather than live dedicated lives, with the requisite attention, focus and belief towards their goals. Perversely, there can also be an added element of shame, embarrassment and self-reproach with failing, because of their own self-sabotage.
Many who suffer with self-sabotage, have usually created some form of control around their domestic and work life in order to keep a low profile, and consequently they may be afraid that they will lose this control if their ego is exposed to the limelight. Additionally, there can also be a belief that others will think they are being egocentric if they succeed, and because there is already some discomfort around their sense of self, then they do not want to deepen this discomfort, by becoming publicly noticeable. They may question, “Who am I to stand out from the crowd?” Moreover, they may worry if their ego personality is able to hold their whole sense of exposed selfhood within it. Basically on the one side their self-sabotage and its underlying self-doubt, is battling with their other side, and how comfortable they will allow themselves to be, and who they are truly meant to be. Ultimately the question for those suffering from self-sabotage is, “Do they want to allow childhood negative interactions to define their whole life, as well as who they truly are?” (Please see contemplations on Confidence, Inadequate, Inhibition, Self-Doubt, Shyness, and True Nature).

© Aaron John Beth’el

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